g reetings most h onorable m all r a t. welcome to the tunnel of the mall love, where violent obsession and serene contemplation meet in a dance that begets a thrilling confusion. hang on to your hat, kids. itβs chaotic journaling.
it can be challenging, a chore even, a choice every day
deciding which world you will step into as a creative. iβve noticed a pattern of wanting to work on the same thing for 8 hours at a time, while simultaneously wanting to work on every project and ambition iβve got on the windowsill, every day, 2 hours per beloved ambition, giving each of my children a proper snuggle and bedtime story and prayer.
reading world? video world? editing world? water world? hands world? the outside world! writing world. language world. cleaning world β¦ radio world β¦ water world. bath world. all whirled.
for several weeks iβve been experimenting with the medium of video, yielding mixed results internally. you might know by now all my workshopping lives on patreon - and maybe thatβs what that world is - the workshop. where ideas and projects start taking shape and i play darts with you while i figure out what and why am i doing this?
i rarely know why iβm making something but i follow the compulsion
iβm affirmed iβm on the right path when the list of songs iβve been enjoying the past 3 months comes together to make 2 great playlists and i canβt wait to share themβ¦.
anyway
this video project - a means of documenting the path of making bigbig work for an installation - now live! - in philadelphia. in my heart it felt like a way of cataloguing a time of finality - a final summer in a studio that helped define my art practice, a final farewell to my twenties. during this period i traveled through time when i was visited by the figures of the past decade - my college friends, an ex boyfriend, my parents, the coming-ov-age-river - and by visited, i traveled.
i was the time that traveled
this video project - iβm quite camera shy. i get uncomfortable and i decide eventually no i like to be uncomfortable. so its an experiment. i dont know if i like it - but iβm not giving up. and letβs face it, itβs easy to share when thereβs only a handful of sweeties in the bleachers. if just 5 people understand what youβre doing, itβs worth itβ¦.
Β» this video project - a new universe - i felt a bit on stage and experienced stage fright, performance, disliked myself, simultaneously excited about showcasing the magic of the process but wishing i was invisible but for my hands and muck boots
itβs a joke!
as you know i love noises and continue to collect audio & video submissions of magical moments of stillness, of sweet noises in the wild or city or home - and to what end? donβt know - a library? art project? a website, obviouslyβ¦ iβm obsessedβ¦
on the 100 days of analog ambition β i flop.
this video project. let me tell you, the worst time to commit to analog-living is the same day you decide to film your days at the studio for the next 12 weeks . film. on. the . phone!
i spiral in and out, mostly avoiding what I really want to be doing, justifying it by gaining the affection of my feral cat while she chews on my hand as i watch a chinese man show me how to dance if iβm angry and you will not be angry anymore
what do i like here?
thoughts on social media platforms (personal use / uncertainty)
i made this arbitrary list in my notebook while sitting in the park waiting for a few things like this or like that to happen
twitter - my favorite (?) - most fluid and fun, most stream of consciousness, most desktop + screenshot friendly. fastttt. rest stop off the freeway of thoughts that pass through my mind. like a ball point pen
instagram - feels like the Bronze and I show face but I really donβt know what to do but play slots π°π°π° then leave feeling weird and nauseous. like a paintbrush - iβm bad at painting
wmfu - radio meets slow internet, nostalgic online ecstasy, the site looks like a neopets guild, chatting with randoms and sharing stories about βthat time i saw annette peacockβ (i wish!). it is what i hope to emulate in the mixcloud chat.
patreon - feels like i rented a room in a community church and ask my friends to come to my performance art for $3/month
substack - amazing in email form or on any newsletter landing page - the function of this website disturbs me and feels a bit desperate
internet i love with certainty @ the computer lab of love
meanwhile i stay in pursuit of an internet of luxury, a world wide web. this week i found https://chia.design/ - a beautiful if not aggressive cv of internet art and projects by Chia Amisola Β» one of her sites, https://everythingi.love/ may be easier to navigate, and i suggest you cozy up on your laptop, personal desktop, or log on at your local library and explore internet projects as they were meant to be explored. i donβt know what is even going on. i need to put on my web cartographer cap and get a move on. i found Chiaβs work through Cody Cook-Parrotβs ar.ena βwebsiteβ collection. here i am star struck so you tell me what iβm missing. dont forget to add ur website here.
thus close these passing thoughts on the internet.
here comes the summer
summer is over and somehow this calling-in feels like a great way to say goodbye. i leave you with the fiery furnaces.
itβll be so long until itβs soon
itβll be so long until itβs june
bye bye now
